Refined Through the Wilderness
Lessons from Hidden Seasons in Mission and Life
Dear Family and Faithful Supporters,
Thank you for your patience with me. This past season has been quieter — not because nothing was happening, but because much was happening beneath the surface. I have been in a season of refining, processing, and transition.
Lessons from Moses
Recently, I have reflected on the story of Moses in the Book of Exodus (2:11–22). After growing up as an Egyptian prince, Moses witnessed injustice and reacted out of zeal, killing an Egyptian who was beating a Hebrew. When Pharaoh sought to kill him, Moses fled into the wilderness.
Moses had a calling. He saw injustice. But his action, though passionate, was not aligned with God’s timing. So he became a shepherd in Midian — hidden and ordinary. The wilderness was not the end of his calling. It was where God quietly formed his character.
When I returned to the United States from South Africa, I felt the Lord leading me into a similar hidden season. The past few months, He gently revealed areas of my heart that needed adjustment — motives that needed purification, expectations that needed surrender, and patterns that required healthier boundaries. It was quiet, sometimes uncomfortable, but deeply necessary. I am learning that calling cannot be sustained by passion alone. It must be anchored in surrender. Our identity is in Christ alone. That is enough.
Even after Moses began leading Israel, he struggled. He grew exhausted and frustrated with the people’s complaints. At one point, he longed for relief from the burden. And later, in anger, he struck the rock when his heart was not rightly aligned before the Lord. Yet God continued to use him.
Throughout Scripture, we see this pattern in other servants of God as well. Abraham moved ahead of God’s timing by fathering a child through Hagar and deceived foreign kings out of fear. David sinned grievously with Bathsheba and arranged the death of her husband. Elijah fled in fear when threatened by Jezebel. Peter reacted impulsively and later denied Jesus three times. God did not discard them. He corrected, restored, and continued shaping them.
This gives me hope. It reminds me that God’s calling is not based on flawless performance but on grace, repentance, and a willing heart.
Missionary Journey
Over the past eight years, I have served in different mission contexts. I want to clarify that I have not been serving entirely with YWAM Deaf World. Some seasons were directly with them, and other seasons I served as a collaborative missionary alongside various teams and ministries.
During the seasons when I served as a collaborative missionary, it was deeply challenging for me. I stepped into different teams, cultures, and expectations. I had to navigate unfamiliar structures without always having clear covering or long-term stability. I encountered misunderstandings, disappointments, and moments where my own heart needed refining.
Obedience is more than saying “yes” to opportunities or going; it involves discerning God’s timing, staying grounded in Him, and remaining connected to spiritually wise and supportive relationships.
Lessons from South Africa
My time in South Africa especially revealed how much I still need healthy structure. I was meant to serve with a team, but circumstances changed, and I found myself standing more alone than expected. Yet even there, God was faithful. The leaders of YWAM Deaf World in Pennsylvania graciously provided temporary spiritual covering for me, helping me navigate the season without a team.
South Africa became a lesson in trust and dependence on God. At first, I did not fully understand His plan — I went there thinking it was the right step, even though it wasn’t fully aligned with His timing for me. Once there, I faced challenges I had not anticipated. Yet even in this misalignment, God graciously provided protection, guidance, and community.
During this wilderness season, I faced areas where my heart was not fully aligned with the Lord. In His kindness, He showed me how much I still need healthy community and accountability. God used this season — not to condemn me, but to restore and strengthen me.
This season has not been a step backward. It has been deeper rooting. And I am grateful that God cares more about the condition of our hearts than the visibility of our work.
Transitioning
I considered re-joining YWAM Deaf World with the full organizational structure. Over the course of a few months, the leaders and I carefully prayed and sought God’s guidance. Through this, we saw clearly that God was closing that door — not as a denial, but because He has a better plan for me ahead. It was a bittersweet moment, yet filled with peace, recognizing His confirmation. The leaders prayed over me, blessing me to release me in peace and hand me fully into God’s care. I am deeply grateful for the seasons I served with YWAM Deaf World, where God used the team and ministry as part of my formation journey, shaping me and bringing significant growth in my life. I look forward to sharing in the next newsletter the new door He is opening.
I have been living with my host family, the Du Lac family, in Texas during my furlough seasons from missions for five years, and I will be moving out in mid-March. God had already been preparing me for this move. Over time, I sensed it was approaching, and I patiently waited for confirmation. That confirmation came through the Du Lac family, affirming that the timing was right and giving me peace as I step into this next season. I have already gone through my belongings, deciding what to keep and what to give away as I prepare for the next chapter. This transition is bittersweet, as I have cherished watching this family grow. They are entering an exciting season, anticipating their third child in a few months and stepping into a new calling, and I am deeply grateful to God for them, as their home became a place of stillness where I encountered God’s presence and had room for reflection, spiritual rest, and renewal.
Update on My Health
I recently went for a CT scan and blood work, which revealed some issues with my organs. I specifically prayed over my body, asking God to care for every part of me. I am so grateful that He has brought relief and peace, and I have experienced little to no pain as He faithfully sustains my health. This has reminded me of God’s amazing power and His role as our Healer. I continue to trust Him to guide my body, and I am learning to honor it while relying fully on His protection, care, and miraculous work in my life.
Moving Forward
As I move forward, this year and the seasons ahead will look much different. God is opening new doors, inviting me into a fresh chapter of His work. I am excited to share more about this journey with you in the next newsletter — stay tuned for the story of what He is doing and where He is leading!
May the wilderness reveal His work in your heart and draw you closer to Him.
To God be the glory,
Kevi Humphrey
Photos
Amazed to watch the Du Lac boys grow — how did they get so big so fast?!
My favorite spot on the Du Lac porch to watch nature, spy on runners, walkers, and cyclists… and one day, I even spotted a bobcat strolling by!
Cuddles with the Du Lac furs: one, an over-confident, clingy attention seeker; the other, exploring the world but sneaks in cuddles when she feels like it!
These four bags are all I have — my entire life packed and ready to move!
Note: I have officially deleted all my personal platforms, including Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp. You can reach me via email or regular text, and I am happy to schedule a video call through Google Meet or Zoom—just send me a message to request. I may reinstall WhatsApp when I am overseas again, but for now, email or text is the best way to reach me.
Donation Website: www.kevi4christ.wixsite.com/torchrisingphoenix/donate
About the Author
